Stock Monsters


So here’s the deal. This afternoon, shortly before 3pm et, McCain announces that he’s suspending his campaign to return to Washington and attend to the bailout measure, which is being revised after polls indicate Americans aren’t much interested in saving the tycoons on Wall Street.

Like crazed kids with credit cards, the Stock Monsters went on a spending spree, sure that no matter what happened, mom and dad would always be there to bail them out. “We’re not going to pay,” say the parents.

In mortal fear of an electorate that notices and cares about anything going on in Washington, Senators from both parties are slobering over themselves in an effort to appear more eager to punish Wall Street CEO’s and pretend to want to give money to individuals in pain rather than to save the system.

The Democrats tried to make finding a resolution McCain’s problem, with Majority Leader Harry Reid taunting McCain last night saying we need to know where the senator stands.

Meanwhile, Barack says he gets a phone call from Senator Tom Coburn of Kentucky, an arch conservative Republican who Barack has portrayed as one of his senate friends despite Coburn’s alleged neanderthal politics. They’ve cosponsored legislation. Barack says Coburn suggested that Obama and McCain make a joint statement on the bailout plan.

McCain gets a call and Barack makes the suggestion. While mulling the idea over, McCain decides he should go much further, and suspend his campaign and go to Washington to be part of the process. He calls Barack back, and according to Barack, tells him this is what he thinks they should do.

Barack indicates that he thinks he has time to consider the idea, but the next thing he knows, McCain is on TV announcing his plans.

Meanwhile, Barack holds a press conference to respond to McCain, and says he’s not going to accept McCain’s suggestion that he also suspend campaigning and postpone the debate. He says we need the debate now more than ever, so the American people get to hear what the two major party nominees have to say about the crisis.

Harry Reid issues a statement – we don’t need presidential politics injected into Washington – and the battle lines are drawn. McCain portrays himself as bold in the face of crisis, Barack portrays himself as getting backhanded by McCain, but poised and confident under stress.

Even with the financial world melting down, the boys play their games.

Question: Did Coburn call McCain too?

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