Party Bomb


There’s some controversy in the Tea Party movement, with bomb thrower Mark Williams, the spokesman for the national Tea Party Express, writing a stupid attempt at satire that failed miserably, leading to cries of racism.

The National Tea Party Federation severed its ties with the organization over the weekend after it refused to cast out Williams as chairman. The federation made the demand after Williams put up a satirical blog post that included a mock letter to President Abraham Lincoln from “Coloreds . . . that don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing.”

How big of a deal is the ouster? Boston TP honcho Christen Varley says that while she’s not happy with Williams, she doesn’t even know of the National Federation.

Christen Varley, president of the Greater Boston Tea Party, called the blog post “absolutely disgusting” and said she doesn’t want Williams to use the Tea Party name in “any way, shape or form.”

Anything that creates the sense of legitimacy to the phony racism claims of the Democrats amid their struggle to keep the race divide alive is obviously a bad thing in Varley’s book.

“It’s a stunt to get attention, and it doesn’t serve the movement,” Varley said. “Every Tea Party leader in this country ought to come out against this guy.”

Here’s the blog post, which Williams has taken down.

Dear Mr. Lincoln,

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the tea party movement.

The tea party position to end the bailouts for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government. What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government stop the out of control spending. Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right. Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government stop raising our taxes. That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.


Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew NAACP Head Colored Person


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